Will you take dowry?
No, I won't.
No, I won't.
A deafening wave of laughter submerged my response even before it could surface on the canvas of our discussion. Mocking won't be the right word to describe it, though irony may just be perfect.
Sitting in a class of aspiring civil servants, I expected this response to be accepted as quite natural, on the contrary, it generated a series of laughter and comments:
Sitting in a class of aspiring civil servants, I expected this response to be accepted as quite natural, on the contrary, it generated a series of laughter and comments:
"Humain kuch nahi chayiye, lekin aap apni beti ko dena chahte hain to koi problem nahi"
"App cash mat do lekin ek badi gaadi hoti to"
No one pointed fingers at me, no allegations were made.
Yet, i felt the pinch.
The ladies laughed, the gentlemen smiled, as if I had cracked the greatest joke at that hour.
Maybe, what they were referring to was correct, the prevailing customs and prejudices in the society, but then, who is to blame and correct, if not but we?
I often get the advice of keeping idealism separate from realism, yesterday was no different, but again an eye opener of the brutal fact, that in reality, a whole lot of us is still a barbaric, selfish bunch of individuals, afraid of the society as a tradition.
The Line of Control between good and bad, between values and objectives, between opinions and beliefs, seems to be diminishing at the pace of nauts. Our education too is of little help, as it is but ultimatley the environment that one gets at home which dominates one's thought process and defines the freedom with which one percieves the blurred reality.
Time and again, society bombs my wall between idealism and practicality with heavy canons loaded with pounds of reality.
In the wake of yesterday's fresh attacks, I am mending the walls.
This line of control may not last forever, i can only hope, it does.
"App cash mat do lekin ek badi gaadi hoti to"
No one pointed fingers at me, no allegations were made.
Yet, i felt the pinch.
The ladies laughed, the gentlemen smiled, as if I had cracked the greatest joke at that hour.
Maybe, what they were referring to was correct, the prevailing customs and prejudices in the society, but then, who is to blame and correct, if not but we?
I often get the advice of keeping idealism separate from realism, yesterday was no different, but again an eye opener of the brutal fact, that in reality, a whole lot of us is still a barbaric, selfish bunch of individuals, afraid of the society as a tradition.
The Line of Control between good and bad, between values and objectives, between opinions and beliefs, seems to be diminishing at the pace of nauts. Our education too is of little help, as it is but ultimatley the environment that one gets at home which dominates one's thought process and defines the freedom with which one percieves the blurred reality.
Time and again, society bombs my wall between idealism and practicality with heavy canons loaded with pounds of reality.
In the wake of yesterday's fresh attacks, I am mending the walls.
This line of control may not last forever, i can only hope, it does.
7 comments:
"Time and again, society bombs my wall between idealism and practicality with heavy canons loaded with pounds of reality.
In the wake of yesterday's fresh attacks, I am mending the walls.
This line of control may not last forever, i can only hope, it does."
i m ur fan frm 2dy :)
simply superb..
yes again the canon bomb thing as mentioned above is simply fantabulous
keep going dude
keep mending the wall for all u need to do is to preserve it till the time is right for the seeds of change to sprout.........
dont worry the change may be near..... who knows in ur pocket
:)
@sunny
what do ya mean "frm 2day" ;)
@Naveen
Thanks mate, it's not about the change, it's the choice between tradition and liberty
change is happening...only it tends to be slow to the visible eye in a country of over 1 billion people...give it time and keep your efforts up...
Hmm..instead of being sad about their stand...you should be proud about yours.
“Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not.”
Oprah Winfrey
Similarly doing the right thing..knowing that society is foolish enough to ignore it..makes you the bigger person.
Nice writing..go pathik :)
+1 above except the opera winfrey bit
I have a feeling the thrust of these stupid traditions is over... what we have is the leftover inertia...
I know many people who would never want to take dowry.. but marriage is such a "family" affair in India..
If you know 1 person (you) who thinks this was.. that is sign enough of a coming change...
remember.. the majority CAN be wrong! heck it usually is wrong! We should never leave morality a subject to majority...
remember.. we live in a country with "special quotas" ;)
what we have left of this ghastly tradition is partialy left over inertia but somewhere down in the hearts of the "traditional" indians is the greed also. its is really funny to see some well educated people give the sorry excuse of not fitting in the society if they dont accept dowry. one reason i found to be particularly ridiculous was that, if the boy didnt accept "gifts" then there was some problem with him namely, infertility.
this is insane.
another sorry excuse is that i wont have a say when my parents start talking. i mean WTF???
the only way out of this bullsh*t is a certain social stigma attached to this tradition.
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